Cash For Democratic/Republican Clunkers!

A new exciting program is being readied for you by your Federal government!

Last year, the Cash for Clunkers program provided exceptional return on investment. We've spent tens of trillions of dollars on Wall St banks only to see excessive bonuses for the people who crashed the world's economy, but spending just $3 billion on Cash for Clunkers provided a over half of the GDP increase from the stimulus.

Well, with such excellent return on investment, and in accordance with the recent SCOTUS ruling, the Federal government will be announcing the Cash for Democratic/Republican Clunkers program!

This program will allow us, the real and imaginary corporate people of the United States to purchase our own brand, spanking new Senator or House member, and get rid of some real clunkers!

These Democratic/Republican Clunkers have to go now! These are all dangerously out of date, unsafe at any speed, and polluting! Heck, half of them actually have recently, due to their own action, or lack there of, been classified as the party of NO, or Not Operational.

It's just a crying shame that these perfectly useful Senate and House positions which can be used to help run the country, and ensure the life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness of the American people, both real and imaginary, have been abandon, overrun by weeds, and are in such general disrepair that these are now lowering the property values of all of Congress!

So examine your budget, and come prepared to help us get rid of these Democratic/Republican Clunkers! Contact your preferred organization and learn how you can donate and participate in buying a couple of Senators and House members you can call your very own!

Poll

What Do I Have To Do, To Get You To Do This Deal TODAY?

I'm calling my preferred Democratic/Republican organization RIGHT NOW!

0% 0 votes

Well, I'm On a Tight Budget - But It's Tempting

0% 0 votes

I'm In the Market, But Have to Be Sure My Money Purchases A Real Progressive!

0% 0 votes

Darn, I Spent All My Money On Booze, Cigs, and Ammo!

16% 1 votes

I'm In, But Only Because The Little League Team I Sponsor Isn't Playing This Year

0% 0 votes

I Represent A Foreign Imaginary Corporate Person, And We'll Take Ten!

16% 1 votes

Do You Take Gold Bars, or Coffee Cans Full of Unmarked Bills?

16% 1 votes

I'm Holding Out For the Cash For Blue Dog Clunkers!

0% 0 votes

Sorry, I Just Bought One, But Came For The Free Toaster.

0% 0 votes

I'm In, But Only If They Install Luxury Owner's Boxes In the Viewing Gallery!

0% 0 votes

Does This Come With All The Required Batteries?

0% 0 votes

Is This A Tax Write off?

16% 1 votes

Can I Get This With Pie?

16% 1 votes

Sorry, I'm Just Here To Get My Democratic Clunker Tuned Up!

16% 1 votes

Can I Get This One In a Nice Dark Blue?

0% 0 votes